Most pregnant ladies I know are tired of all the advice everyone is trying to give them. So I don’t want to be too annoying.
But here’s a few notes from me. (inserted later: you got the wordy version.)
While waiting for Jonathan (#1) to arrive, I read someone’s simple labor tip. “To get through a contraction, count to 25. If the contraction isn’t over, count more slowly next time.” WHAT?!? “That’s a cop-out!” I exclaimed. But later, in the middle of a contraction, I thought, “I just have to scream. Wait… I’ll count to 25 and then I’ll scream.” Yeah… the contraction was over before then. I’ve now used that tip to get me through three labors. Moral of the story: Umm… sometimes crazy things help.
L1 was a hospital birth. L2 was a homebirth. With L1, I remember the nurses waking me up that first post-birth night and prompting me to feed the baby. L1 was so sleepy that first night that we weren’t getting anywhere. It was frustrating for everyone. With L2, I remember the midwife telling me about 5 hours after the birth: “Now the baby is going to take a long nap to recover from delivery. You need to use this time and take a long nap too. If he doesn’t wake to nurse during the next several hours, that’s fine. Just sleep.” And we both slept for 7+ hours. It was awesome. and so stress relieving to know that. Moral of the story: Babies often like to sleep after they get through the first few hours of life. It’s okay. Don’t stress.
I was super scared of letting the baby sleep on me or with me, even the first couple nights in the hospital. I knew that we weren’t co-sleeping once we got home, so I didn’t want to start “bad habits.” With L1, I kept trying to sleep him in the bassinet at the hospital. On night 2, he would wake up when I put him down and start screaming. And his hands were always in the way of latching on to nurse. And he just kept crying. Eventually I collapsed in tears. (My nurse pager wasn’t working either, so I just cried some more.) With L2, I put him on the bed cuddled next to me. We both slept well. (But I also had a full-size bed.) With L3, he was so tiny that I would let him sleep sideways across my tummy while I was propped in place by pillows on the couch. Moral of the story: The baby is two days old. All he knows is your heartbeat and warmth. It’s okay to “spoil” him if that works best for you.
Many babies get gradually fussier during their first few weeks of life. Make it to six weeks. My boys were much easier after that milestone was hit. But just before six weeks, I collapsed in tears due to my fussy baby who wouldn’t sleep and I just couldn’t handle it. Then his fussiness drastically changed in a matter of 48 hours, six weeks to the day after his due date. (Anecdote: mine. Scientific information source regarding six-week fussiness: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book) Moral of the story: If you find yourself despairing over baby fussiness, stop and see if you’re nearing six weeks post due-date.
Babywearing was my lifesaver — especially during the fussy weeks. And after that too. I’m addicted to having things easy (or addicted to doing too much), so having a happy baby on my back and two free hands is super helpful to me.
If you’re nursing, consider making six weeks your minimum goal. My friend challenged me to do that and that’s probably what kept me going. (Well, that and the price of formula.) Nursing HURT the first six weeks. Then it got better and was super convenient and easy after that. Repeat same experience on #2. Moral of the story: Nursing may hurt. It may hurt badly. It gets better.
And in general, sleep begets sleep. I remember when L1 was six months old and waking at all hours of the night. Changing his bedtime to earlier (much earlier) magically (changed overnight) fixed the night-waking issue. Every baby is different, but in general, early bedtimes and lots of sleep are good things.
And finally… every baby is different. L1 nursed for 3-5 minutes at a time and was done. (The nurses weren’t too happy with him and told me I wasn’t producing enough milk. Then they brought in a pump and realized my milk supply was just fine. He was just a fast eater.) L2 would nurse for 45 minutes at a time. Ai-yai-yai! He eventually sped up to 10-12 minutes, but those first three weeks were a lot of nursing! Jonathan would wake up screaming hungry. L2 would wake up and I’d have to remember to feed him since he wouldn’t complain.
So that’s the end of my ramblings. Take my thoughts for what they are worth or leave them for the wiser words of others and true-life experience. May the Lord give you much grace and help during this period of your life.
With a quick hug from across the miles,
Mrs. A.